TOTD

Why is it that we seem to have more people speaking in tongues than interpreters? Does that reflect the state of worship in any way?

on hindsight.

For some reason, I've been bringing my Muji notepad and ballpoint pen (0.7mm, which, by the way, I absolutely love to write with), along with me wherever I go. From my room to the car, to my work desk in the studio, and back home again. Funny thing is, apart from some scribbles, the pages haven't been filled in yet. It's almost as if I'm subconsciously waiting for something, some sort of inspiration to strike me to my knees which would then cause countless wisdom from ages past to inscribe itself into the pages. Something Paul-y, you know.

On hindsight, perhaps I should have written this entry down in the notepad.

found some r. dahl quotes today

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." 
— Roald Dahl

"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." 
— Roald Dahl (The Twits)

“The complaint was the answer. To have heard myself making it was to be answered. Lightly men talk of saying what they mean. Often when he was teaching me to write in Greek the Fox would say, 'Child, to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that's the whole art and joy of words.'

A glib saying. When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you'll not talk about the joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?” 
― C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces (emphasis mine)

12 AOK

I've decided that I will contemplate on 12 things to do by the end of this year. 12 acts of kindness, to be precise. Yes, I know how cliche 'acts of kindness' sounds, but it's been a long day... and I would like to start reading my novel before I turn in for the night. Anyway, I'll have to mull it over carefully as I wouldn't want this to be too random.

12 for the 12 months in a year; that would average it out to be once a month. Not a pretty bad start. If I ever finish all 12 before the year's end, the rule is that I will come up with more ideas and do them.

Now on to the fun part: what should I do? Now would be a good time for me to do the things I've always wanted to do, but for one reason or another, procrastinated. I would like these things to be something out of the ordinary. Not like holding doors for strangers, which I consider as habits.

Here's the list, in no particular order. Some I have kept deliberately vague (so as to encourage some spontaneity). I will also remain anonymous whenever possible. There would be greater joy for all.
1) Pick up the tab for an elderly couple at the same restaurant I'll be at. I will also write a short note of encouragement.
2) Help out at a soup kitchen (actually already done in 2012, but I'd love to do it again).
3) Do something related to empowering children with education.
4) Buy a meal for a man on the street.
5) Lend a stranger a helping hand.
6) Write a cheque for a worthy cause (something related to education empowerment)
7) Sponsor a kid from a 3rd world country for an exchange trip to Singapore. Checked.
8) Complimented a stranger on the street. Checked.
9) to be decided.
10) to be decided.
11) to be decided.
12) to be decided.

As you can tell, I've still got plenty more to think of. Feel free to leave suggestions... but I'm starting to think I'm the only human around these parts of the cyber-universe. Aha, perhaps practicing silence would be a worthy thing to do this year too (at least it benefits me!).

Dad bought a VCR-to-DVD converter.

Mum told me last night when I came back from work, that Dad had just gotten off from eBay a VCR-to-DVD converter, and that he had started archiving all our old home videos into DVDs.

There was one video I had seen a few times before. I don't recall exactly how many times I've seen it, but I know it was enough for me to have memorized (unconsciously) the flow of it. There was that part on my big sister's kindergarten graduation; me sitting on the potty; and one on a trip to the zoo. Mum told me yesterday that Dad had then borrowed a video camera from his friend for my sister's graduation, and so they decided to make the most of it by bringing us on a day out whilst recording our adventures. As I came home just an hour ago,  Dad was still busy converting the VCRs, and I managed to catch about 1 minute of a particular video I don't recall ever seeing. Perhaps I might have seen it before, but that would have been many, many years ago.

It was a video taken by dad. He was standing on a little mount taking a panorama of the little park we have below our apartment, and the panorama ended with a shot of my mum, my elder sister and our maid looking up toward the camera. I don't recall the maid's name. Mum was doing a wave and a 'come over here' action, and when I saw that I thought it was pretty funny for her to signal to Dad like that.

Then, little me appeared and started running from where the camera was, toward my mum. I was actually beside dad all along. I did not see my little brother in the video, so I'm assuming that he wasn't been born yet. That would put little me around 4 years of age; that would also mean that the video was taken about 20 years ago (I'm 25 now). My parents, therefore, would have roughly been in their early 30s.

Anyway, I started running down the mount toward my mum, and there she was, bent down, ready to pick me up. When I reached her, she took me by the shoulders and lifted me into the air. When she put me down, I turned around and ran back up toward my dad, all the while having a big grin on my face.

At that moment, overwhelming emotions welled up within present day me. I felt really strange, because if the present day me were to have existed in that video, I would only have been less than 10 years younger than my parents. It was even stranger that I would actually be the same age as my parents then in 8-10 years time.

It was really something to also see mum lifting me into the air like that. Looking at her now (and dad too), it's obvious that they have grown much older. I must say that mum looked really young in that video. But what is really amazing is that I can still feel the same measure of love from her now, even two decades after the video has been shot. Of course, she no longer lifts me up into the air like that now, but it was a really awesome moment when I realised, in a long forgotten video, an act of love from her can still resonate in me something so deep and powerful, even after two decades What of the innocent love that little me demonstrated toward her then? I can only pray that I learn to continue loving her (and my father) unconditionally.